


12 Days of Christmas

by TheWhiteSwordsman



Category: Metal Gear
Genre: Holiday Cheer, M/M, Raikov the grinch, Strong sexual themes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-03
Updated: 2016-05-16
Packaged: 2018-05-04 10:14:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,744
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5330378
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheWhiteSwordsman/pseuds/TheWhiteSwordsman
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Christmas is coming, and everyone in Groznya Grad is celebrating... everyone except Raikov.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Humbug

**Author's Note:**

> Hiya folks! Since the holidays are here, I just want to write a story of Raikov who doesn't like Christmas but Volgin tries to change his mind. This story will be written right off the bat, so forgive me if the plot doesn't feel like it is progressing at all, I'll try to avoid that. Also, I just want to give Raikov the spotlight since Raiden is being loved on more this time of year. (poor raikov) 
> 
> I did a lot of researching about Russian culture, so I think I'm ready to start off the adventure. Merry Christmas everybody! (or happy holidays if you don't celebrate christmas)

_"What the hell is this?"_  The Major asked while swatting at whatever was in his face.  He stepped back from the room he was about to enter and observed the strange item that was hanging above his head. "Is this... a  _salad?_ Hanging from this doorway?" Raikov added more confusion in his voice. He grabbed the salad looking thing and squinted, examining it with interest.

The two soldiers infront of him remained saluting and stood perfectly still as if they were frozen. None of them even  _dared_ to look in any direction other than foward. Their eyes locked fearfully onto their Major as he stuck his tongue out in disgust as he held the item away from his head.

"It's  _that_ time of the year, isn't it?" He sighed with exhaustion as if he had to face this many times, and he did. The two soldiers looked at each other with raised eyebrows wondering what their Major was implying- big mistake. Raikov noticed the sudden break of eye contact, and while he was  _very_ strict about that, he placed his gloved-hands onto one side of the two men's forehead, gave an unpleasant frown, and collided the two soldiers' heads together, recieved a loud crack (but it didn't do any damage) followed by muffled groans.

Th-th-thank... you.. s-sir..." they both grunted, holding in the hidden urge to cry or scream and anger. 

Raikov smiled approvingly and stepped over the men and continued to enter the room. Actually, it was the library section of the building, where the captured scientist were typing vigorously. (either because they are working or they just witnessed what happened outside, hoping not to get involved) He noticed the other major sitting at on of the couches reading a book on guns and weaponry. Not surprised, Raikov scoffed amusingly. Probably about revolvers. His hair matched the cheap yellow lights outside of the building, and his expression  was always  a sour, revenge-filled wrinkle, like that of a wet towel.

He looked so concentrated on the book, studying it as if his entire life depended on the knowledge. And it probably did, after what happened with a spy making an attempt to capture Sokolov   _and_ wipe out his entire squad. Luckily, his darling Volgin managed to defeat the mean man, so everyone lived happily ever after, the end. That would've  been an interesting story to read. Anything better than just guns.

Raikov casually walked towards the man, making no effort to keep quiet. He sat on the leather couch infront of him and snatched the book from his hand, examined it with little interest, then tossed the book to the side, leaving one of the soldiers to put it away.

"I was reading that," the man growled with frustration. Raikov payed no attention to his anger and began to speak.

"Ocelot, do you know what day it is?" He then leaned back in the chair and crossed his legs as if preparing for a long discussion.

The other major replied with a shrug, followed by a mischievous smirk. "April 30th?"

 _"No!"_ He retorted, not amused by the sudden switch of character. But that was Ocelot, and Raikov admired that part about him- but he still  _hated_ it when it was used at the worst time. "It's  _Sochelnik!_ It's coming!"

Ocelot  raised his eyebrow at the Russian word. "And... that's a good thing, right?"

The Major leaned in closer towards Ocelot  and hissed in his ear as if he were telling him a harsh secret. "Christmas eve, you  _skatina!_ Around that time, the idiots on this base go decorating and acting like little girls! How do you say this in your language... oh yeah-  _pussies!"_

Ocelot frowned after the man leaned back to his own seat, then snorted, then laughed. (Which ended up disrupting the people inside the library even more, if not Raikov's loud entrance)

"What's so funny?" The Major huffed, crossing his arms.

"Okay, first of all... how are you Russian if you don't have a Russian accent?" He began, which recieved a shocked gasp from the white-haired man, placing his right hand on his chest feeling taken aback.

"And second..." He continued, "Christmas is celebrated to give the soldiers here hope and stuff. Plus, it gives us something to do. Even The Boss and the Cobra Unit are celebrating it."

Raikov interrupted, "But why are we celebrating it like how the  _Americans_ do it? We don't even like them!"

"Probably because it's closer. But this was all under the Colonel's command, not mine."

As soon as he mentioned that, Raikov leaped out of his chair and snapped his fingers. " _Aha!_ So Venya  is in charge of this... Look like I'm off to take care of some things." And with that, he began to march out the door, ready to begin his courageous mission and confront the Colonel Volgin.

Ocelot shrugged to himself and retrieved the book he was reading, rescuing it from its sprawled out position on the marble floor. After he picked it up, he called out to the other major.

"I suggest you tread carefully this time, Raidenovitch. The Colonel can get pretty antsy during busy hours."

The voice responded back with a confident coo. "Don't worry, it will be  _me_ who makes the busy hours, not some paperwork. Besides, I can even turn a ferocious tiger into a fluffy kitten with my super swaying ability. It is  _you_ who needs to tread carefully, or else you might get bitten by a  _snake."_ He then broke out into a mocking  cackle as he heard Ocelot shout in frustration.

"ITS NOT MY FAULT THE AMERICAN SPY HAD A BETTER GUN THAN ME!"

 

 Ah, he did hate the holidays... maybe he can use his convincing techniques  to persuade others to agree with him. It would be easy... at least- it  _should_ have.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a little key for you to understand the little Russian in this chapter:  
> Skatina= idiotic animal


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to add that these chapters will be short in the begining but will get longer as the story progresses. You may continue reading.

A knock on the door made the Colonel jump out of his seat. He had been so focused on his paperwork he hardly noticed his surroundings. "Who is it?" He demanded gruffly, almost like a growl. It was when he realized that he recognized the happy voice outside his door. 

"Venya, it's me!" It pouted, so suddenly out of character. Volgin knew that it was his lover who was oustide  whining like an abandoned dog. He ignored the man outside and tried to focus on his work, only to be interrupted again by a louder knock on the door. He chuckled to himslef once he heard  his Ivan outside beg to be let in, and he  _loved_ it when he begged. 

He lifted himself from his armchair and slowly walked towards the door, hoping to get anymore impatient whining from Raikov, which he did. He could feel anxiety burning right through the door every step he made. As he opened the door, he chuckled as soon as the Major suddenly wrapped his arms around him and pressed his face into Volgin's chest. He mumbled something that the Colonel couldn't catch, but it was probably a complaint about not eating or something.

"What do you want, Ivan?" He sighed, bringing them both inside the room and locking the door. Raikov then immediately  escaped the hug and sat in the armchair, leaving his lover standing with crossed arms and a raised eyebrow.

"Venya..." He began, twiddling his fingers. "You are in charge out the holiday decorating, correct?"

Volgin sighed in relief.  _Oh, thank god,_ he thought.  _I thought he had another fight with Ocelot  or one of the Cobras!_ He eased himself and continued to listen. "Yes, I am in charge of the Christmas decorations." He replied, not sure where this was going.

Raikov threw his hands in the air and jumped out of his seat, surprising the Colonel."Why?!" He exclaimed. "Why Christmas out of all the holidays? Couldn't you wait for new years?"

"Seems you aren't a fan of Christmas, now are you? " Volgin smirked, leaving Ivan shaking his head. "But it is a tradition, and I have been celebrating it for years. So have the other soldiers."

"But an  _American_ Christmas?"

Volgin frowned. "Yes, Major, an American Christmas. I may not side with them, but that doesn't mean that I don't celebrate their holidays. "

"I know..." Ivan muttered.

"Why do you hate it so much?" The Colonel asked curiously.

"I'd rather not talk about it." He replied, avoiding eye contact from his superior.

"Ivan..."

"..."

"Ivan, tell me or else..."

"What? You'll  _fuck_ me till I answer? Or will you use your sadistic powers to force me into submission? How about zapping me?" He made jazz hands to add to his sarcastic shock. " I'm sorry Colonel, but we have done that so many times that I'm used to this by now. Nothing you do will affect me."

Volgin admitted defeat and sighed. "Alright, don't tell me. But I won't stop the celebration just because one person dislikes it. If you hate it so much, then I can put you somewhere you won't be bothered by it."

Raikov stuttered. "B-but Venya-!"

"I'm sorry Ivan, but I've made my mind. We  _are_ celebrating Christmas and I don't want to here any protest from you."

"Veny--"

"Major, you will address me as Colonel, understood?"

"...Yes sir."

"Good, now go outside and see if you can help out with one of the Cobras or The Boss. And I don't want to hear a report on tormenting the soldiers! This is the holidays, everyone needs a break."

Raikov slammed the door with a huff, surprised that Volgin hadn't come out and made him close the door again. As he stomped through the hallway past all of the decorated rooms he scoffed to himself. He couldn't hurt the soldiers? What kind of disease does his Colonel have? He  _loves_ it when Ivan beats up soldiers! It makes him hard, it makes him want him. It makes him...

Certainly not like  _this_ Venya.

He retreated towards the library, glaring at every Christmas decoration on the way there. 

As soon as he entered the doorway to the room, he noticed that Ocelot was still there. (Well, Raikov wasn't gone for that long as a matter of fact) The other major looked up from his book a lifted his eyebrows in slight surprise. He set the book down and scanned Ivan's body as if he was searching  for any bombs on him or something.

"So, how was the conversation?" He eased, returning to his reading. " I certainly see no  _marks or bruises._ And I heard no moans of pleasure either." he asked,  then giving a slick smile underneath.

"Shut the fuck up!" Raikov snapped, kicking the book out of the Major's hands, surprising him as well. Everyone in the library stared at the two men. After a long pause of no one moving or making a sound they returned to what they were doing, knowing that whatever happened is over. Ocelot raised his hands in defense and fell back in his seat. 

"Alright! Alright! I didn't think that would bother you! ...Didn't  know you could kick that quickly either..." He mumbled that last part quietly, hoping the pissed off man wouldn't catch that.

 Raikov hissed. "I'm going to have to try harder if I want to end this crap"

"How will you do that? Must I remind you that  _The Boss_ is taking part in celebrating. And from what I know... it's not to wisest nor safest way to even make an attempt to change her mind for these kind of things." Ocelot warned, rubbing  what appeared to be a bruise on his side.

 "Oh please, she just did that to you because to don't mind your own damn business."

"And  _you're_ supposed to be the perfect role model? Ha! Please. At least I don't use my  _body_ to get people to tell me information."

Rather than shouting and loosing his cool, he decided to play this little game. 

"At least  _my_ lover is here. Yours is probably sent back to his home courtyard after falling off that old bridge."

Ocelot  grunted. "He is  _not_ my lover."

"Then why do you have the bullet that was meant for him tied to your necklace?"

"It... it's a memory thing!"

"A memory for the Amercan, no doubt."

Raikov chuckled in triumph as the other major huffed in frustration and stormed off to the West section of the building. Feeling a loss of entertainment, he decided to do what he was ordered earlier and try to talk to one of the Cobras- no, The Boss.  _She_ is at least normal.

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

"So you're saying that I  _can_ try to stop Christmas this year?" Raikov asked, making sure what he heard was right. He sat on the desk in an office while The Boss was decorating the room.

"You can if you like," she replied, not diverting her attention from what she was doing. "But there will be consequences  for that."

The unsatisfied  man sighed in frustration. Clearly, that answer wasn't helpful at all. There's no such thing as an answer that goes against itself, it's  nonsense! But what if it really was a warning? He remembered  how Ocelot cautioned him. Maybe he should be careful of his words. If she wounded Ocelot for pestering her, then what would happen if he was doing something worse than that? What if she kills him? Is that possible? 

Unfortunately, these thoughts  _weren't even detected_ inside his mind. It didn't even occur to him to watch what he was saying, better yet- not even think!

"So... can I do it?" He asked again, clueless about the answer the woman gave him. 

The Boss glance over her shoulder and gave a uncomforting warning glare. Feeling as dubious as usual, he didn't respond at all, only raising his eyebrow waiting for the reply. Realizing that he didn't ge the message, the woman turned her focus back on the ribbons and lights that were being placed on the wall.

 "I don't know,  _can_ you?"

"That's not what I was asking."

"Then why ask if you are expecting a specific answer?"

"Well... I- uh..." He paused, now even more confused.

The Boss finished hanging the lights and picked up the box that had more decorations ready to be put in other rooms for display. Before she left the room, she stopped and turned towards Raikov, finally deciding to give him a real answer.

"Let's put it this way," she began, supporting the box with her hip so it would slip out of her grasp. "What would happen if you  _did_ manage to stop this? Who will support you then?"

"The Colonel will support me!" He protested.

The woman scoffed and rolled her eyes. "Don't be a fool, _Ivan Raidenovitch Raikov._ You know very well that Volgin likes holidays, especially  during work. Do you think he would shrug it away... or  _get rid_ of you?"

"W-What do you mean?"

"You are only "respected" because you are under Volgin's watch. If he wasn't here, I can garuntee that your so-called comrades would dispose of you in a heart beat."

"Th-they can't!" He chocked, fear cracking through his voice. "They wouldn't dare!"

"Oh, yes they will. I have seen it before. People would only tolerate abusive behavior from someone because there was a higher and more powerful force that would harm them even worse than what they had before. But, if that major threat were to disappear, then the individuals would come together and get rid of the one who has tormented them for so long. Think about it, Major. Those guys you beat don't really  _like_ being punched or kicked or pushed around. They just keep quiet because they don't want their Colonel to zap them with his electricity." She left the room, leaving Raikov and his silence alone.

Was it true? Did they only listen to him because his lover said so? But that can't be... they even fought for him in battles! B _ut that could have been under Volgin's orders,_ he thought. Were the men really afraid of the Colonel and not him? That can't be right. Ocelot  has every soldier at his will who willingly do what he asks, and Volgin doesn't even  _care_ for him. But that's probably because everyone  _respects_ him, not worrying if whether he will be merciful on his punches.

 But if what The Boss said were true, then he would have to change things  _fast._ He has to find a way to be feared because of him, not someone else. But what could he do? Could he avoid tormenting his men? 

No, he remembered:  _Volgin wanted to use violence anyway._

What if he tried something to his lover? But the thought was immediately scrapped. Volgin was his superior, and doesn't like being on the "bottom". He prefers to be dominant rather than submissive. He would rather tie someone up  rather than being tied up. Plus, he as at least 2,000 volts of electricity coursing through his veins, so there was no way that Raikov had power over him.

Perhaps he could do something that would affect  _both._ Something that would be abnormal for him to do and somehing that should surprise everyone. It so far sounds like a great plan, but how to carry it out? Who knew the other side of the Colonel just as well as Raikov does? 

 _Tatyana_.

He hated thinking about it. Him having  _another_ lover. It made him hate the woman for being Volgin's other "relief" toy. But he doesn't really care for her either, only Ivan was loved. But still, she does have information  about him, which would be useful. _  
_

He had to talk to hear, despite them not seeing eye-to-eye.

By pure luck and coincidence, Tatyana was just passing briskly, boots clacking the floor loudly.Why was she in such a hurry?

"Tatyana, wait!" He called, raising his hand. The woman stopped walking and turned her head towards the man and raised her eyebrow.

"What do you want? Care to laugh at my hair again?" She said coldly.

They really did have a bad connection. The sudden hostility  wasn't good, so he had to fix it fast.

"No... that's not what I'm here for. I actually came for.." He paused, just realizing that she was in a hurry. "Wait, where are you going?"

The woman blushed with embarrassment and brushed back a loose strand of blonde hair from her glasses. "I know you hate this, but the Colonel has requested me in... his room, again."

 _What impeccable  timing,_ he thought. The urge to choke the lady right now was rising, but he had to stay calm and collected, or else he wouldn't get  an answer.

Taking a deep breath and closing his eyes, he opened them again with a calm exhale, surprising Tatyana. "That... is not important right now. I am asking for information."

She raised a cautious eyebrow. "Information? On what?"

"I need to know more about... Volgin."

"But don't you know enough? You  _are_ his number one person."

Hearing that sentence made his heart feel relieved. At least he was the favorite. Feeling sidetracked, he kept the topic up.

"I know, but you know another side of him. When around me, it appears he is more cautious with decisions. He practically treats me like a spouse, but for you, he treats you like a..."

"You don't need to tell me. I know that I'm just a toy to be played with when you are busy. He's probably mad at you for something or feels you are mad at him, so that's why he's going to take it out on me."

Raikov cringed. "Ouch. Sounds like it's going to hurt."

The woman smirked."I thought you liked that kind of stuff."

"Not when he's angry. Feels like I'm getting fucked by a  _tiger._ No nevermind, a bear- those things are bigger."

Their laughter echoed throughout  the hallway. It was the first time the two actually got along.

"Well, what specific things do you want to know?" Tatyana asked, back to being serious.

"I want to know what makes him want someone. Like if I do something, then he will want to see me desperately, but not enough to force me to him."

"Hmm... he hates it if you ignore him."

"Nah, he'd probably use force to solve it."

"Well, if you want him to come to  _you,_ then act pouty or pretend to stay mad at him. He likes a challenge. And since you are his lover, he would most likely feel concerned, taking the approach gently."

Raikov thought for a second."That could actually work," he murmured, still in a deep thought.

The long pause lasted for only a few seconds before Tatyana had to leave. "I gotta go. Volgin's going to be furious if I'm late, which means more electricity."

"Mhm..." He replied, still in a trance of deep wonder. He didn't notice her leave until after his thought was cleared. The plan the lady said was  _perfect._ All he had to do was act depressed and lonely so that Venya could come to him feeling concerned. Once he tells him that he doesn't like the holidays, he will be sure to cancel it, leaving Raikov the winner. It was fullproof. Nothing could stop this. He reminded himself that he needed to thank Tatyana once the plan worked.

He began to walk down the halls of the west wing and noticed two soldiers admiring a doll.  _This is bullshit, why are they playing with that?_ He decided to justify this at once, walking towards the two men.

In his sudden presence, the men quickly saluted, hiding the doll behing their backs. "Sir!"

"Why do you have a doll?" He asked with disgust, catching one of them off gaurd.

"Um... well, I got this as a gift from my son. He likes dolls and girly things for his age, but it's nice to see that he cares for me as I'm in the war. The doll reminds me of him. That's all." Realizing that he said to much and feared that he would get punched, he immediately  corrected himself. "I-I'm sorry, sir! I spoke out of line!"

Raikov suddenly rembered of a boy who was similar to the man's son. This boy loved playing with dolls and dressed as a girl a lot. The father resented him for it, but the mother loved it. He remembered how the boy loved to smile and dance. He was made fun of it, but never gave it up then.

"Uh... sir?"

He looked back up, focusing on the two men again.

"Sir, you trailed off and paused for a bit. Are you alright?"

The Major nodded his head, half his mind still remained in another   thought. Feeling scatter brained, he decided to continue with what he had to do and began to walk off. "As you were." He signaled his hand weakly, pushing all of his focus ahead of him. 

He remembered again why he hated the holidays. It wasn't because everyone was celebrating it the American way or how he was forbidden to torment anyone.

It was his childhood. His ruined childhood.

 

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This might be a long chapter since it will be heavily covered with sexual themes. I know that I love writing smut, but it has been a while, so this might be really bad and slightly awkward. Why is this story so hard to right?
> 
>  
> 
> Enjoy~
> 
>  
> 
> (EDIT: sorry for the late post! I know that now it will seem a little irrelevant or too late, but I guess a few days after Christmas won't hurt?)
> 
> MORE RECENT EDIT: Holy moly this was left in the dust for quite some time! This chapter was actually almost done, but I chickened out on the end so I rewired the plot and saved the kinky shit for next time. Sorry. At least you can read this yougreedyfuckers. (just kidding, you're my fam)

Everything grew peacefull on Groznyj Grad. All the decorations were up, the building was finally clean, and everyone is so kind to one another. 

But as always, something went wrong.

Where was the Major? He usually walks around bored finding something to do or takes naps on the couches. Maybe he was in his room napping or something. He does like to keep to himself sometimes.

But after a few days?... Now something _was_   _off._

Everyone wondered where he was. They even checked his room, only to find it empty.  Volgin hadn't noticed yet because he left the base with the Cobra unit for a little bit to go to a lab located south. The soldiers panicked. If the Colonel found out that his love was missing... who knows what he could do? Especially  after hearing the Major's  screaming through the thin walls when he and Volgin are "discussing strategies". 

They checked every room and doubled back, making sure they didn't miss a single hair. But how did they know that he was still inside the building?

Well the food was missing, so he has definitely been here.

When Volgin returned, all of the troops and staff were standing outside in perfect formation. As he walked closer towards the building, the soldiers greeted him with a strong salute and a straight stance.

"Welcome back, sir!" They all said in sync.

Volgin was quite surprised. He had never seen such manor, let alone being  _greeted_ back from a small trip. "What's going on?" He asked, wearing a light smile feeling amazed at the sudden behaviors of his troops.

One of the men gulped, then spoke aloud.

"Sir! We have some bad news!"

The Colonel's smile faded quickly. Bad news? This can't be good if _he_ has to be informed."What is it?" He demanded. "The American spy?"

"N-no, sir." Another man stuttered. "The thing is... w-w-w-well-l... t-th-the m-ma--"

"Spit it out, soldier."

"The Major is missing."

A vicious uproar erupted from Volgin, sending sparks of electricity scatter throughout the area.

"WHAT?!" He roared. "HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE?!"

All of the men trembled to the ground to take cover for the sparks in the air and the colonel's rage. If anyone saw this from afar they would think that a lightning storm was happening.

"How is this possible?!" He repeated.

"We don't know sir. We barely noticed. He was here three days'ago, then he stopped coming out of his room. By the time we realized that he hasn't been out in a while we decided to check his room, only to find no one there."

The colonel growled and pushed his men out of the way, deciding to investigate by himself. He made his way through the hallways and corridors until reaching a point where he had to tell the troops to stop following him and get back to work. He continued down the hallways, all decorated and illuminated by lights; he chuckled at how the major would have hated this kind of stuff. Was it his fault that Ivan was gone? What if he was murdered... or kidnapped by the American? 

It couldn't be possible. The food was missing every time it was restocked, and he could defend himself just fine.

He stopped once he reached Raikov's door. He would've knocked, but the thought of him being taken by other people... getting to  _touch_ him... force himself to pry the door open, revealing a shocked major inside.

Volgin gasped.The soldiers did say that he was missing... didn't they? 

"Ivan? I thought you were missing!" He exclaimed, not sure if he was relieved or angry. 

The major shrugged and continued to lie his head on the bed trying to continue his nap with a book lying open on his stomach.

"'The story of Christmas.'" He read the title of the book, then raised a brow. "Ivan? Why are you reading that?"

The man shrugged again not bothering to open his eyes. He didn't flinch nor bother to complain when the man snatched  the book form off his chest. He set it aside, then sat on the edge of the bed, adding weight. 

"What's wrong?" Volgin asked, feeling impatient. He didn't have time for whatever the major was doing.

Raikov didn't reply. He only berthed quietly as he was trying to sleep, wanting to shut out the man. But why? Wasn't his plan was get attention? 

"Ivan..." He sighed, taking the Major's  arm and pulling him towards  his chest only to recieve a silent groan. It was an awkward hugging position since Raikov was slumping, but he felt uncomfortbe so he repositioned  himself.

"What's wrong, Ivan?" He said gently, stroking Raikov's white hair.

"..." He didn't reply, only breathed softly.

The room stood still for a while. Something was wrong with Ivan, Volgin thought, now feeling concerned. He was like this for three days? Well, he was gone for that amount of time, but did miss him  _that_ much to not even talk to him? He didn't like it when the major was sad. He was his happy spot when the world betrayed him. He was the block of excitement  when he was bored. Without him, Volgin didn't know what he would do with all the commotion around.

"Why do you love me?" The Major finally replied out of nowhere. 

The colonel was caught off guard. What kind of question was that? "I do love you!" He exclaimed, feeling surprised.

Raikov slid down and rested his he'd onto Volgin's lap staring at the wall from across the room.

"But why?" He repeated. "Was it because I look like a girl?"

"W-what? What is this nonsense?" He sputtered.

Raikov turned his body until he was looking up at the colonel, giving him a dead expression. "When I came here, there were no women, so everyone became tense since they couldn't have someone to release into. I even heard many of them jack off to pictures of women found in smuggled magazines. When you met me, you thought I was a girl, so you made a move on me. Realizing that I was a guy, you quickly apologized and sent me to my office." He chuckled lightly while tracing the scars on his lover's scars attentively. 

"But as the days past, you couldn't help but see me again. You ordered me to your office and--"

"Ivan, I know all of this, why are you telling me?" Volgin interrupted, his voice soften by relaxation from Raikov gently tracing his face. 

"You ordered me into your office so you could speak with me. You asked me questions about me and my life, then you ordered me to dance after hearing that I did ballet in my life. After that, I'm guessing that I was excused from office because you probably got hard from watching that."

"..." Volgin blushed, earning Raikov a slight smile.

"A few days later, we caught some traitorous spies in the Army. You asked me to help you punish them. To be honest, I never did find harming other men to be amusing back then. But as I kept witnessing you torture them and saw what you could do, I had no choice but to join in as well. So I hurt people to win your favor, and then you took me in your room for a drink, which was really where you got to fuck me. During the next few weeks, I was your sex slave apparently, and you were really sadistic at the time. I still can't get that scar on my right shoulder to disappear.  Then one day, you took me into your room again as usual, but you did something different. You didn't use any whips or tools like you used to to. We just had plain, normal  sex. You then mention how you loved me, and offered me to be a major with abilities of a colonel. Being caught in the moment, I accepted, then the next day, I became a Major. Now we're  back in the present, where I'm punching the shit out soldiers and you punching the shit out of me. It's like a survival game, if you really think about it."

Volgin was speechless. Was this how Ivan saw it? Was it really a survival game? He escaped the comforting face massage and sat up straight.

"Ivan... was this how you felt the whole time?" 

"Nah, I just thought a lot about it when I was alone for the past three days."

Volgin paused, turning head head towards the other side of the room and shutting his eyes. After a few seconds, he turned his face back to Raikov again.

"Do  _you_ love  _me?_ " He asked, his voice filled with doubt.

The man sat up and stared his lover right in the eyes. "Of course I do! I did everything just to please you."

"But was it for me, or because you feared that you would be killed if you were weak?"

Raikov looked at the ruffled bedsheets and stood silent for a few moments. Then he calmly replied, "If you asked me that a long time ago I would have said that I was scared. But now, I  _like_ the way things are now. I love it when you dominate me and use whatever tools to punish me. I love the feeling to punch and abuse soldiers. I love everything that is happening right now, and I don't want it to change."

Volgin smiled. It was a warm, true smile, one that he  _rarely_ gave. He embraced the man into a hug and kissed his forehead. "Ivan, I didn't love you because you looked like a women, I loved you because you were  _beautiful."_

"Then why did you take in Tatyana?"

"Because she was also beautiful, but not like you. I like people who are like you."

"But she isn't like me."

"I know, that's why I don't give a damn about her. I just use her for an extra toy if you can't or are unwilling to sleep with me." 

"You tend to do that more  _frequently  now."_

" You tend to be mad at me more frequently  now."

Raikov shrugged, then planted a kiss on his lover's forehead. Volgin chuckled, then had a question that had yet to be answered. "But that still doesn't change the fact why you hate Christmas. What happened in your past that affected the present?"

Ivan shook his head and ran a finger over his mouth pretending to zip his lips. "Nope, not telling."

Great, now it's back to square one.

"Come on, Ivan, you were just being open to me right now." He sighed.

"But that was for  _that_ moment."

"Fine then..." He got up from the bed, leaving Ivan feel wierd from the sudden weight lifted from the mattress. He walked towards the nearest desk to take off his green ,leather coat and gun holder. He strapped them both together and set them neatly on the brown desk, then faced the other man.

"What are you doing?" Raikov asked, half of him already knowing the answer. He notice the man's glint of desire as soon as he saw Volgin's face.

"Take off your clothes." He ordered.

"B-But w-ha....? Why?"

"You owe me a weeks worth of pleasure after me having to taking it out on Tatyana and waiting for another three days.

"B-but we were caught in a moment!"

"That was for  _that_ moment."  

The Major cursed at himself for letting his own words be used against him.. Why now? Sure, he would be willing to do it anytime only for  _pleasure, not something romantic._ It was so random, especially after having such a passionate conversation. Despite his body saying "Yes" his mind was screaming "not yet!"

He studied his superior's bulging muscles and bold stance. The Colonel was truly a striking man. His shoulders stretched wide and his arms were strong enough to deliver  _electrifying_ punches that could send the devil himself crashing back in hell. His face was broad and had menacing scars on a side of his face, each mark had a story to tell. He has always wondered what stories they were.

"No," he crossed his arms, receiving widen eyes from Volgin.

"No?" He repeated. "Ivan, I thought you loved this stuff!"

"Well... I do.." He blushed, then turned his head away so he wouldn't see his face. He wanted to do it,  _immediately._ He desired for  Zhenya's lightning to pulse through his skin, making him shudder with ecstasy. Just saying no to all of that was tearing him apart already.

"Then what's wrong?"

"I-I don't know! It just feels awkward..."

Volgin sighed, walking back towards the bed and sitting back on top. He expanded his arms and leaned in slightly. "Come here." He mumbled slightly.

Raikov couldn't help but obey. He embraced the man into warm hug, which later for a solid five minutes. What was this side of Zhenya? It was different than your average beat-and-fuck sadist. This man was different... more...  _gentle._ Was it because the dammed Christmas holiday was near?  Was he really throwing aside his alpha male nature for a simple holiday of joy and caring? Ivan's heart skipped. He felt something inside that he never felt for his lover before. Volgin was doing this all for a him. It was...  _romantic... heartwarming... beautiful..._

 _Bullshit._ Absolute  _gavno._

What kind of man-- and this is  _Volgin_ , mind you-- would act all nice and cuddly because of some day where you just throw lights on strings everywhere and hang up decorations that would only last for a day? What about cleaning everything after? Raikov felt disgusted on how such a thing could tame his lover-- and he thought  _he_ was supposed to be the submissive one, not Volgin!

He couldn't tell if it was either the body heat  between the two of them or his rage that made him all hot inside. He had to fix this,  _now._ He wanted the old Zhenya back, not some soft teddy bear with static electricity. But what could he do? How should he start? It was usually the other man that lead everything, not him.

Suddenly, his thoughts were interrupted  by a loss of weight escaping the bed.

"It's okay Ivan. We don't have to do this if you don't want to. I'll go inform the soldiers that I know where you are now." He replied gently, giving a loving smile. And with that, he prepared himself to get up, leaving the comforting embrace.

 

 _Damnit,_ Raikov cursed, mentally biting his nail. He was about to blow his chance! A dark void slowly claimed the room and time appeared to slow down each second the colonel slipped from the bed. He had to act quick, yet cunning enough to not get smacked sideways for it.  Like lightning, he swiftly leaped from the bed and slipped between Volgin and the entrance to the door, spreading his arms wide forbidding him to proceed any further.

"Ivan, what are you doing?" The colonel raised his eyebrow. Something was wrong with the major, he was sure of it.

The light-blonde man's cheeks flushed with pink as he stared down at the floor. "I... um...." He hesitated, mind blanked. He forgot what he needed to say. His mind just stopped working despite hearing a tiny voice in his head calling him an idiot and demanding him to say something. The room stayed absolutely  silent along with Volgin still waiting for a reply.

"I... want to.... um" he murmured shyly, slowly running a hand through his hair. He began to feel his pants tighten underneath, as if his body was screaming, "TOUCH ME."

He knew Volgin knew what he was trying to say, but rather than acting on it, he simply gave that I-don't-know-what-you-mean stare. He hated it when the Colonel did that...

"Ivan," he felt the man lift his chin up, bringing him closer to the man's face. "What are you trying to say?" Raikov wasn't sure if it was either an amused smirk or a warm smile that Volgin gave him, but his trance was interrupted by a panicking soldier'so cries.

 

"Colonel! Colonel! He's here!"

The American? How can that be?

"What is it?" Volgin gently shoved Raikov aside and stepped into the hallway. He could hear the worry in his lover's voice. Was the American really the only thing to scare Yevegny? What did he have that Raikov hadn't obtained yet to make the Colonel restless at night?  Fortunately, it wasn't the American, but that soft-hearted  general came to visit.... again. His guard was lowered again, and he saw Volgin turn to him, that former wave of fear vanished, as if nothing had happened.

"Prepare for the General's visit. He will be arriving in a few hours," he ordered, ignoring the sincere moment he had with him earlier.

Wouldn't be surprised if a coin was better at staying on the same side than the Colonel.

Feeling deafeated, Raikov nodded slightly and stepped backward into his room, shutting the door from the world... shutting it from him. His plan had failed once again...

He growled to himself and punched the door as soon as he heard Volgin leave. He gritted his teeth and cursed to himself, to the American... to everyone.

_Damn it!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Russian dictionary
> 
> Gavno= shit

**Author's Note:**

> This story will contain sexual themes. So if you dot like that stuff, thengetthefuckoutofhereanddontcomeback. (just kidding! Try reading something else more "gentle")  
> Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy this as much as I love writing it^^


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